When the lovely Nina from Emotional Bliss wrote to me offering me the chance to try out one of their new vibrators which were designed with the menopausal woman in mind, I was intrigued. I read somewhere that us ladies of a certain age require additional stimulation because of the vagaries of our hormonally messed-up bodies. However, I didn’t really want an industrial-strength vibrator because I’m always worried about burning out my sensitive nerve endings down there.

According to the blurb on the press release and their site, the new Femblossom Heat is the Femblossom with a surprise, it heats up! The single click function enables the Femblossom to gradually heat up to coincide with the speed and frequency of the programme selected creating an additional pleasurable (and warm) experience.

Not only does it heat up but it also has a unique antibacterial agent which means a few minutes after use and after wiping with water, it becomes sterile and ready to use again.

The first time I used it, I was with Ruf. It was very pleasant, but the handset is quite large so it did rather get in the way when he was trying to simultaneously penetrate me vaginally (next time, we will have to try anal) and having it on my vulva for a long period left it a bit irritated because of the heat generated.

However, I felt it was sufficiently interesting to give it a go when flying solo. A few days after Ruf’s visit to my flat, I woke on a windy Autumnal Saturday morning sufficiently relaxed to feel the need for a little self pleasure.

I lubed it up and started switching through the programmes. There are nine different vibrating frequencies ‘ranging from Tantalizing to Intense’ and very pleasant they are too! Continuous; Buzz, Buzz, Buzz; and V-V-Voom, each with three different levels of speed/intensity.

I started with the gentle continuous buzz. The heat was equally as gentle. Just warming up my nether regions nicely until I was ready to move onto medium continuous. The controls are on the back of the head just an up button and a back button so it is easier to work your way through the settings and come back to the one before if you preferred it. The temperature rises progressively in conjunction with the intensity of the vibrations.

The pulsator was very enjoyable, especially long long looooooong, although it is quite noisy at the higher, faster settings and I was a little concerned about the occupants of the flat in the bedroom below. The full on continuous buzz is not quite as powerful as the Tulip so you build up to the orgasm gradually, rather than coming in less than a minute, which is good if you just want to be aroused gently. However, if you’ve just spent the weekend shagging and your nerves are not so sensitive, it can be a bit frustrating.

The unusual design of the cobra shaped head means that it caresses the natural contours of the body, so the heat encompasses the whole of the vulva, but the pointed end is also good for focussing on specific areas inside the labia. I really enjoyed using it to get inside and stimulate the side of the clit hood, the left side is a particularly effective and sensitive spot for me.

I have an image that remains with me of the previous weekend’s activity when Ruf fucked me from behind over a chest of drawers in my bedroom in front of two mirrors. In my mind’s eye, I can still see the magnificent reflection of the ripples of his six pack grinding against the soft white curve of my bottom as he penetrated me and this was what I visualised as I came.

With the body of the device warming the top and outer lips of my labia, I pressed the tip of the cobra’s nose against the left side of my clit hood. I felt all my pelvic floor muscles instinctively engaging and drawing in, sucking upwards and applying maximum pressure on that sweet spot inside me so that it was sandwiched between the vibrating depression of the Femblossom and the tightness of my own internal muscles. As the orgasm hit, I could feel the tingling warmth spreading from my feet and up the back of my calves. It was very pleasant indeed… and just as good the second time some minutes later when I changed it from continuous vibration to voom…voom… vooooooom.

An hour later, I went back to my messy toy and just wiped it over with a wet cloth, rather than the whole ritual of getting out the cleaning spray and ensuring that all surface areas have been covered. Far less effort, which makes me a fan of the built-in antibacterial.

So, in summary: The Femblossom was great for clitoral stimulation. The gentle warming of your bits is really lovely, although can get a bit uncomfortable after a while because, for me, it became too hot after use for a long period. The pulsator is good, especially voom voom voooooooooom. Full on continuous is not as powerful as the Tulip, but was sufficient to give me a very pleasant orgasm. The design is great for external arousal of the whole area, but also to get inside and stimulate side of clit hood. Used with a partner, I was desperate for penetration and its size obscures the vagina too much. Next time we will try with anal. Quite noisy when tested against the Lelo range but compares favourably with all my other vibrators.

The advertising blurb says that Emotional Bliss Intimate Massagers are designed to stimulate orgasms and it certainly worked for me.

A few months ago, Victoria at Durex asked me if I’d like to review some of their Play range.

I have to say that, at first, I wasn’t terribly enthusiastic, having purchased my own bottle of Durex Play Tingle some months before and suffered a bad irritation because it was too strong for my Menopausally-sensitive ladybits.

Having advised her of this rather unfortunate reaction, Victoria assured me that Tingle had the strongest effect of the range but that the Feel and Heat versions were much more subtle and so we agreed that she would send me a bottle of both.

In the meantime, after the ministrations of my Kegel8 Tight and Tone workout, my pussy was feeling much less fragile so I decided to retest the Tingle. Sadly, although the effect was not so dramatic as previously, where I found myself having to shower for about ten minutes to relieve the itching and irritation, the area around my clit still felt very uncomfortable for a couple of days afterwards, requiring several applications of Canesten to relieve the symptoms.

A really good thing about the Durex Play range of lubricants is that they are free from animal derived ingredients, which means that Ruf, who is a strict vegan, is quite happy to use them. So, keeping Heat at Ruf’s and Feel with me, I gave them a thorough test.

Both are water-based, so can be used with all my silicon toys and are very light to the touch, not requiring very much in terms of quantity to make things nice and slippery.

Neither of us was terribly conscious of any particular increase in temperature when using the Heat version, but it worked well otherwise, lubricating both sets of genitals for mutual stimulation and also to ease penetration when my own juices were not up to it on a couple of occasions.

Whilst I was away from Ruf and flying solo with my toys, Feel definitely helped me to do quite happily what it said on the bottle. It was soft and gentle with no unpleasant after-effects, so I would certainly recommend it.

Another point in its favour is its accessibility, as it is readily available in both Tesco and Sainsburys so, if you’re not brazen enough to watch it move along the conveyor and be scanned by the spotty teenager earning his beer money for the next semester at Uni, you can just slip it under your sausages and use the self-check-out facility.

And, no, they weren’t deliberate double entendres ;P

I had been wanking under the covers for the best part of ten minutes, watching Ruf flit in and out of the bedroom, before he finally realised.

And that was only when he got into bed and wondered at my stillness. Raising the covers and taking in the scene, he laughed.

Being used to the rather more noisy models I had been wont to use previously, it was so quiet that he never even noticed.

Me, I just lay there on my back, enjoying the relaxation as the motor gently buzzed away inside me. Iris is such a good shape that she slid in really easily and meaty enough to fill me properly without that gap at the end where other toys just didn’t quite seem long enough. Gradually pushing the control up through the five different programmes, fiddling with the power control to increase the speed and working out which pulser or shaker speed I preferred best… at that particular moment.

For me, a vibrator has never been a substitute for a man. It never could be, for how can it put its arms around me and nuzzle my neck, pressing itself hard against my flesh and demonstrating that it wanted me back.

But Iris certainly ticked a whole lot of boxes that put it well on the way to being my favourite toy. Nowhere near as loud as the Hitachi and without the encumbering cable, combined with a power that is more controllable. Quieter again than any of the tulip gspot/clit stimulators and far more satisfying when used internally. More importantly, it seemed more powerful than her sister, Gigi, my previous weapon of choice. So when I selected the highest, fastest setting and placed it on my clit, it knocked all previous contenders into a cocked hat.

This is what I look for in a plastic playmate! A device that allows me to achieve a fabulous clitoral orgasm whilst my lover ploughs into the hole of his choosing from behind and sets off a tandem gspot climax. Man and machine working together to bring about my release.

Other pretenders had had the power but their volume had rattled the rafters and woken the neighbours before I’d even got started. Still more had purported to do the job but failed miserably and left me frustrated at their lack of oomph, especially when the batteries were on the way out, or with a stiff arm due to having to reach to hold the device in position.

So, powerful, quiet, ergonomically shaped for comfort internally and externally, rechargeable and easy to clean because it’s made of silicon so a quick wash with antibacterial soap or sextoy cleaner (carefully avoiding the recharging socket) and dried on a lint-free towel, remembering to avoid silicon-based lubes when you play.

Faced with a choice between the Elise and the Iris, I selected the latter because of its raised textured curves rather than the cold Scandinavian lines of Elise.

I love my Iris.

With many thanks to Rick at Vibrator-Toys.

The Hitachi Wand is a multifunctional megabeast that straddles the twin worlds of sex toy and muscle massager like a behemoth. Not for nothing was it chosen by Samantha in that famous episode of Sex and the City ‘Critical Condition’.

With thanks to erinmak for this synopsis:.

Carrie bribes Samantha into helping Miranda out with the baby. Samantha very reluctantly agrees and gives up her fabulous hair appointment that was impossible to get to let Miranda take her place on the spur of the moment. Miranda’s icy neighbor has taken pity and stopped by with a vibrating chair that calms Brady down. She’s amazed that Miranda doesn’t know about this wonder-chair, but Miranda explains that none of her friends have babies. Miranda admonishes Samantha not to take Brady out of the chair, but when the chair breaks (or runs out of batteries or something), she’s at a loss. She then remembers her earlier trip to The Sharper Image, where she tried to exchange her broken vibrator. (She had an argument with the salesman who insisted that it was a neck massager – “The Sharper Image does not sell vibrators.” In the end she got a replacement “neck massager.”) So she puts the “neck massager” in the chair with Brady, who’s as happy as a clam

As this demonstrates, the thing about the Hitachi is that it has enough power to be both an effective muscle massager AND a very satisfying sex toy.

After all, as Samantha says about a different ‘neck massager’ in the same episode: ‘That one actually works against you. If we wanted to work that hard we’d find ourselves a man, am I right?’

I read recently that the older woman requires more stimulation than her younger sisters and so it’s been on my list of things to try for some time. When the lovely Rick at Vibrator Toys sent me one to review, I was very excited.

But this was somewhat short lived because, on plugging it in, the thing in my hands became absolutely terrifying. I was certainly of the opinion that if I put that between my legs, I was likely to fry my most delicately sensitive bits… and that was on the ‘Low’ setting. This was like the industrial catering version of any of my kitchen implements when it came to power comparison.

But then my tulip gave up the ghost and, needs must, I turned to the Hitachi. At first, outside of my clothes. So, whilst I was straddling Ruf’s back and using it as a massage tool, I discovered that it was actually very pleasant to press my most intimate parts against the vibrating bulb as it did its work on his tense musculature. I could feel the powerful buzz transmitting itself through my flesh to my g-spot with the most pleasant results.

Since then I have used it against my clit through my pants and I can pretty much guarantee an orgasm within a minute. It’s so powerful that even though it doesnt actually press directly against the clitoris in the way that my toothbrush/tingle tip would, that doesn’t matter. It vibrates the whole area so vigorously that all the important points, both internally and externally, are somehow activated.

There are a couple of downsides in that it is a bit cumbersome because of its size and the electric flex plus adaptor. It is also pretty noisy – but then most neck massagers of this power would be in order to be effective.

In a conversation with Marianne, we were trying to work out if one should even attempt to insert the implement but, fearing some form of vaginal scrape as a result, I decided to consult an expert. When I first wrote on my Joanna Cake Facebook page that I was awaiting my Hitachi, Curvaceous Dee made a very excited comment extolling its virtues. By chance, she happened to be online so I was able to get chapter and verse about the Hitachi attachments for extending its pleasure capacity.

Another exchange with Rick, and I chose the G-Plus attachment to go with it.

I am pleased to report that this really sorted me out, although it reminded me of Gonzo from the Muppets. It was made of a material called TPE which is non-porous and so can be cleaned with hot water and anti-bacterial soap to prevent the spread of bacteria. Suffering from recurring cystitis, this is very important to me. It also contains no phthalates or latex which is also imperative.

It has two floppy sort of beaks. One for the clit and one for insertion. The fabulous effect of the material is that the intensity of the vibration is diffused so there is not so much friction against the clitoris as I would have imagined and the part that is inside you is responsible for the most divine sensations.

My only complaint would be that the insertion piece could be slightly longer and perhaps a fraction stiffer for the best results.

Since its first use, it has been responsible for a number of most unladylike fantasies… hopefully, I shall be able to tell you the tales of their fruition over the next couple of months.

All in all, it is a beast, but a very reliable one. Whether you want it to release the tension in a sore muscle or your frustrated genitals, the Hitachi Wand is guaranteed to do the job toute de suite.

Check it out!

Tiffany’s Boudoir by Dev1l-5pawn found by Marla Singer.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #13? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #15? Submit it here before Sunday February 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.
• NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Mr. Bendy by Erin Leone

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

• Babeland Nubby G by Jezebelle
• LELO Iris by Toygirl
• LELO Gigi by Sleeping Dreamer
• Womolina by Marla Singer
• Emotional Bliss Womolia by Sexorcism
• The Boss by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Emotional Bliss Isis by Sexorcism
• Jolie by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Isis by Hussy Red
• LELO Gigi by Epiphora
• Evolved Waterproof French Kiss- True Love Edition by Beautiful Dreamer
• Emotional Bliss Isis by Beautiful Dreamer
• Fun Factory Laya Spot by Sexorcism
• LELO Gigi by Hedonistic Bitch
• Tuyo by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Dildos

• Natural Contours Energie by Domina Doll

Anal Toys

• Kama Diva Plug by Carnivalesq

Toys for Cocks

• Colt 3 Snap Cock and Ball Strap by Sommer Marsden
• LELO Bo by Hedonistic Bitch

Sex Kits

• Sweet Celebrations Kit by Essin’ Em
• Kama Sutra’s Treasure Trove Raspberry Kiss by Domina Doll

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

• System Jo H2O by Adriana
• Toko Aroma Lube – Strawberries and Champagne by Thursday’s Child
• Moist Lubricant by Beautiful Dreamer
• JimmyJane Afterglow Candle – Figleaf Scent by Sexorcism
• Babelube by Jezebelle
• Babeland Massage Candles by Essin’ Em
• Hemp Edible Massage Oil by Ansley Agnello

BDSM/Fetish

• Pink & Black Beaded Nipple Clamps by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
• Scalloped Cuffs by Panthera Pardus
• Japanese Drip Candles by Luna Orignaux
• Bark and Bite Paddle by Panthera Pardus
• Nipple Clamps 101 by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Books

• Best Sex Writing 2008 by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

• First Dates (Scene Two) by The Porn Librarian
• Crash Pad Series – Episode 1 Dylan & Trucker by J.D. Bauchery
• KissMe Girl – Tiffany and Denise by The Porn Librarian
• Crash Pad Series by Carnivalesq

Storage

• Just in Case – YouthAIDs Red by Alpine Subdreams

Miscellaneous

• Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel for Women – Warm by Beautiful Dreamer
• Doggy Style Strap by Carnivalesq
• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Thursday’s Child
• Sensua Double Pearl Black Thong by Vixen
• Pink Pubic Hair? Not so much. – Smart Beauty bikini color by Betty Rocket

I’m 18, and sitting on the tour bus that I am ostensibly in charge of, even though some my charges are a year or so older than me. A boy called Bo asks me to ask the driver if we can listen to one of their tapes instead of the europop drivel that we are listening to. I’m a punk: I don’t care much what we listen to, because the likelihood of anyone playing any music I like is almost non-existent. The tape goes on, and I sit with my mouth open, entranced. “What IS this?” I ask. “It’s Bluegrass”, they say, gently. Some time later that same summer the roommate of the boy I’m bouncing naked on top of wakes up and asks “What are you doing, Bo? Oh…” and I make a mental note: I’d never come across so many people called Bo, or bluegrass before.

So for various reasons I was well-disposed towards Lelo’s rechargeable vibrating cock ring before I’d even encountered it, not least because it’s called Bo – and I was even more well-disposed towards it once it had encountered my intimate bits.

Bo is a sturdy elastic cock ring with a little rechargeable motor that can be attached to it. It doesn’t have the flight- deck controls that so many Lelo products have, for obvious reasons: you basically switch it on and go. The buzzy bit itself is smooth and rounded, and big enough that you don’t have to spend all your time wriggling around making sure that it comes into contact with your clit, and the buzz is enough to build up a nice…um…buzz, without being too much at first contact. My experience of vibrating cock rings is not vast, but I don’t think I have to experiment further: this one works on me, and on him.

Like all Lelo products, it is beautifully packaged and the practicalities as well as the aesthetics have been thought through. Inside the customary box is a hard little plastic carrying case, and the ring can be recharged within the case. Bo is phthalate-free, and an hour’s charge lasts for 4 hours of use

I don’t seriously have a great deal else to say about it. I’ve found with all the Lelo products I’ve tried that they do exactly what they say on the box: they are beautiful, quiet, and outstandingly pleasurable.

Originally posted here

There are many things I can say about the Lelo Gigi. A G-spot pleasure object, it is light and capable of occupying a cozy spot within most handbags. Yes, it comes with its luxurious pouch. Lelo products are ergonomic, aesthetically pleasing to view and handle, and weigh little; the Lelo Gigi weighs 92 grams. Don’t let the light weight fool you. Lelo pleasure objects plant seeds of orgasmic bliss where it counts, to culminate in a delicious orgasm. This I know, as I’ve previously handled the Lelo Nea: a pocket sized bundle of delight. When Lelo sent the Gigi for review, I didn’t know how to approach the review. Many visitors to my blog are aware of my Zoloft fun; I had commenced Zoloft, was more than a fortnight into it, and by then my sex drive or motivation was on a low ebb. Zoloft and similar medications are no fun because the supreme side effect is a lowered libido; the idea of engaging in sexual acts, even masturbation, is exhausting due to the prolonged orgasm effect; the time it can take to reach the climax can make the most dedicated person fall asleep. So I decided to wait it out, a year almost passed, and almost I forgot about the Gigi until the second week off Zoloft. I was looking for my long-lost iPod in my bedside drawers and saw the Lelo box. Eureka is an understatement. Pleasure was back on the agenda; after living in the land of orgasmic nod for a year, it was time to make a comeback.

If I had to compare Lelo with the standard run-of-the-mill vibes that I’ve seen at conventions like Sexpo, Lelo would be the sex toy equivalent of French luxury house Louis Vuitton. What you receive is a piece of sexy or orgasmic luxury.

The key features of the Gigi, like other Lelo products, is its discretion. This pleasure product has five speeds, beginning from soft pulses to high-intensity vibration. All modes/speeds are barely audible; if you are in one room, the person in the next room can’t hear the toy. Perfect for travel. Ideal for home sharing situations. Another feature is the intuitive interface dial. When plugged in to a socket to charge, the button display lights up for a split second and glows once the toy is fully charged.

The pro of this toy is that it targets ‘the’ zone and on its own, depending on a woman’s arousal curve, it may take longer to get there. Being erotically stimulated prior to using the Gigi intensifies the experience, and I don’t mean direct genital stimulation. It could be mental, like watching an erotic film, or (in my case) in the middle of re-reading erotic short story drafts.

With this toy, you can begin at a lower setting, prolong the excitement and lie back and let your mind wander to every sexual avenue before you go to the next setting, or you can rapidly go from one to the next and back, right up to the most intense. Also G Spot stimulation is easier, if you’re new to it, if you’re on all fours rather than on your back (if you’re solo, if you’re with a partner, then they can firmly press down on your lower abdomen). Delicious, intense, mind melting are some terms I can associate with G Spot stimulation; unlike the rapid implosion around the clitoris, G Spot stimulation feels like it will take forever, without the tedium. Each step on the upward orgasmic curve takes you one step closer; closer to pain and pleasure. Using the Lelo Gigi, I wanted to prolong that sensation, and I could – by forbidding myself from accessing my clitoris. Its 5 speeds (‘before and after’, short interval pulsation, intermediate pulsation and extended interval pulsation) increase saturation/wetness – especially over a longer interval, compared to clitoral stimulation.

What I love about Lelo products, apart from their fantastic luxe texture and ergonomic design, is their lightness. They can be added to any handbag, take a girl from zero to “oh-my-fucking-God!” in a short interval -without the rumble. If you’re having a trying time at work, they’re perfect. Excuse yourself, say you feel a little ill, and spend fifteen minutes in the restrooms experiencing orgasmic delights. An ordinary film of fabric obscures the faint (oh so faint) vibration.

For myself, using the Gigi made me feel like I returned to the party after a year of medicated monotony. I can only imagine what the Gigi will be like when used with anal pleasure objects.

Rather than spend ten to fifteen dollars for various vibrators that are less durable, a Lelo product (The GIGI is USD$106.00 from various sex toy outlets, in pink or deep rose) will endure.

From Scaudon Photodesign

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #10? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #12? Submit it here before Sunday January 11th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to be part of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers List of 2008?

• Nominate your favorite Sex Toy Reviewers! Deadline: January 25th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Win a Hot New Sex Toy! Deadline: February 1st.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

• Baby It’s Cold Outside (Power Breeze Clit Bullet) by Sleeping Dreamer
• Laya Spot by Erin Leone
• Ophoria Bliss No. 12 by Holden
• Mini Meany by The Hot Movies For Her Sex Toy Crew
• Clitoral Pump by California Exotics by Jezebelle
• We-Vibe by Lucy Vonne
• Sweet Chocolate by Eliot Bodem
• Ophoria Bliss No. 12 by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
• Lucid Dream Vibrating Butt Plug by Brigid Night
• Ophoria Bliss No. 12 by Urban Gypsy
• Discretion Bullet by Dangerous Lilly
• Catalina Loves Gigi by Catalina Loves
• Panty Tickler by Phaedra Fallen

Dildos

• Pure Wand by Ansley Agnello

Anal Toys

• Fun Factory Bootie by Sexorcism
• Peridise! by Panthera Pardus
• Tantus Lil’ Flirt by Beautiful Dreamer
• NJoy Pure Plug by Alisia

Toys for Boys

• One for the Men – The Fleshlight by hedonisticbitch

Sex Kits

• Shunga Carnal Pleasures Collection by Beautiful Dreamer

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

• Jimmyjane Afterglow Candle by Beautiful Dreamer
• Afterglow Candle by Essin’ Em
• Kama Sutra Oil of Love by Betty Rocket
• Babeland Entice Lube by Radical Vixen

BDSM/Fetish

• Celebrating New Year’s With New Toys (The Super Strap Super Sheet) by Luna Orignaux
• Zeus Electrogasm by Gwen
• Under the Bed Restraints by Nadia West
• Crocodile Clamps by Nadia West
• Kinklab Vampire Gloves by Essin’ Em
• Red Acrylic Cane by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
• Ball Gag by Alisia
• Kinklab Piercing Forceps by Alpine Subdreams
• Basic Leather Flogger by Shasta Gibson
• Leather Paddle by Sinclair Sexsmith

Adult Books/Games

• Five Minute Erotica by Adriana
• J is for Jealousy by The Porn Librarian
• The Pleasure’s All Mine by Sinclair Sexsmith

Adult Movies/Porn

• Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot by J.D. Bauchery
• Girls with Desire by The Porn Librarian
• Return of Johnny Wadd by The Porn Librarian
• CrashPadSeries.Com by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
• The Black Glove by Domina Doll

Toy Storage

• FYN Big Foot by Ansley Agnello
• FYN Big Foot Case by Beautiful Dreamer
• Big Foot Case FYN Review by Thursday’s Child
• XL Adult Toybox by Dangerous Lilly
• What’s in My Bag? (Big Foot FYN Case) by Bad Bad Girl
• Just In Case by Phaedra Fallen

Miscellaneous

• LELO Luna Beads by Sienna
• Top Five Tuesday: Our Favorites of 2008! by J.D. Bauchery & The Porn Librarian
• La Luna (Beads, that is) by Panthera Pardus
• Nipple Erector Set by Alpine Subdreams
• Luna Beads by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
• Dominatrix Bag from FYN by Domina Doll

Image: www.fleshlight.com

The Drummer dropped a hint that he’d like a Fleshlight masturbation sleeve for Christmas (we’re in that relationship stage past lacy underthings and onto more practical gifts). In my usual fug of pre-Christmas denial, I simply forgot about his wish until it was far too late to submit an online order.

I scanned the web in a tightening grip of panic (because I had no back-up gift ideas in mind) for retail outlets and somehow, somewhere, found an exclusive distributor in my pokey outstation of the world. I signed the rest of my soul over to the devil and hotfooted it at the speed of sound to the emporium of smut.

One thing I’ve noticed about this place is that female staff pounce on women within 15 seconds of entering the vibrator section but leave women well alone when they stray to the cove of items for men. Does going to the other side make us window shoppers, curious behavioural anthropologists, lone desperate Christmas shoppers? Either way, I was left in peace to find the vagina in a can.

The other difference between the two aisles is that women’s sex toys are evolving to look less and less like male body parts and more like colourful works of safe abstract art, while the push in the men’s trade is to make toys look and feel as realistic as possible. That, too, had to be a question for another day as I couldn’t find the Fleshlight in the assortment of pink squishy things arranged on the shelves.

I finally found the presentation cases that looked innocuously like tennis ball cans and selected the ‘vagina’ sleeve over its mouth and anus alternatives. My sense of the practical said surely it doesn’t matter, but I opted to play it safe in case it did matter to my recipient.

The Drummer was delighted. After he opened the presentation case and canister, he allowed me a few childish minutes to poke my fingers around and make it talk like a puppet, and took it from me because my attempts at testing its elasticity by fisting the opening were killing his fantasies (it passed the expansion and recoil tests with flying colours, by the way).

He sensibly waited until my curiosity and I were out and took it for a test wank. His official feedback on the Fleshlight after a number of uses is that he’s pleased and, sensation-wise, the sleeve is more realistic and less ‘tacky’ than the two Senso sleeves he’s owned in the past. He was keen to say it’s no replacement for the real thing, of course, but the best substitute so far and a worthwhile way to incorporate some variety into the routine of blowing off steam.

The practicalities: The Fleshlight is at the higher end of the market price-wise and I’d recommend purchasing the flashlight-modelled canister to protect the sleeve. Follow all instructions to keep air-dried, use water-based lube and do not use soap – there is some aftercare involved in maintaining this toy but at this stage my beloved says it’s worth every minute and dollar.