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Pleasurist #14

Tiffany’s Boudoir by Dev1l-5pawn found by Marla Singer.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #13? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #15? Submit it here before Sunday February 8th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• The Cherries are Sexy Valentine’s Day Giveaway! Deadline: Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.
• NoFauxxx.com Membership Giveaway. Deadline: Feb 28th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Mr. Bendy by Erin Leone

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators

• Babeland Nubby G by Jezebelle
• LELO Iris by Toygirl
• LELO Gigi by Sleeping Dreamer
• Womolina by Marla Singer
• Emotional Bliss Womolia by Sexorcism
• The Boss by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Emotional Bliss Isis by Sexorcism
• Jolie by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Isis by Hussy Red
• LELO Gigi by Epiphora
• Evolved Waterproof French Kiss- True Love Edition by Beautiful Dreamer
• Emotional Bliss Isis by Beautiful Dreamer
• Fun Factory Laya Spot by Sexorcism
• LELO Gigi by Hedonistic Bitch
• Tuyo by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Dildos

• Natural Contours Energie by Domina Doll

Anal Toys

• Kama Diva Plug by Carnivalesq

Toys for Cocks

• Colt 3 Snap Cock and Ball Strap by Sommer Marsden
• LELO Bo by Hedonistic Bitch

Sex Kits

• Sweet Celebrations Kit by Essin’ Em
• Kama Sutra’s Treasure Trove Raspberry Kiss by Domina Doll

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

• System Jo H2O by Adriana
• Toko Aroma Lube – Strawberries and Champagne by Thursday’s Child
• Moist Lubricant by Beautiful Dreamer
• JimmyJane Afterglow Candle – Figleaf Scent by Sexorcism
• Babelube by Jezebelle
• Babeland Massage Candles by Essin’ Em
• Hemp Edible Massage Oil by Ansley Agnello

BDSM/Fetish

• Pink & Black Beaded Nipple Clamps by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
• Scalloped Cuffs by Panthera Pardus
• Japanese Drip Candles by Luna Orignaux
• Bark and Bite Paddle by Panthera Pardus
• Nipple Clamps 101 by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Books

• Best Sex Writing 2008 by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

• First Dates (Scene Two) by The Porn Librarian
• Crash Pad Series – Episode 1 Dylan & Trucker by J.D. Bauchery
• KissMe Girl – Tiffany and Denise by The Porn Librarian
• Crash Pad Series by Carnivalesq

Storage

• Just in Case – YouthAIDs Red by Alpine Subdreams

Miscellaneous

• Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel for Women – Warm by Beautiful Dreamer
• Doggy Style Strap by Carnivalesq
• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Thursday’s Child
• Sensua Double Pearl Black Thong by Vixen
• Pink Pubic Hair? Not so much. – Smart Beauty bikini color by Betty Rocket

Lelo – Bo

I’m 18, and sitting on the tour bus that I am ostensibly in charge of, even though some my charges are a year or so older than me. A boy called Bo asks me to ask the driver if we can listen to one of their tapes instead of the europop drivel that we are listening to. I’m a punk: I don’t care much what we listen to, because the likelihood of anyone playing any music I like is almost non-existent. The tape goes on, and I sit with my mouth open, entranced. “What IS this?” I ask. “It’s Bluegrass”, they say, gently. Some time later that same summer the roommate of the boy I’m bouncing naked on top of wakes up and asks “What are you doing, Bo? Oh…” and I make a mental note: I’d never come across so many people called Bo, or bluegrass before.

So for various reasons I was well-disposed towards Lelo’s rechargeable vibrating cock ring before I’d even encountered it, not least because it’s called Bo – and I was even more well-disposed towards it once it had encountered my intimate bits.

Bo is a sturdy elastic cock ring with a little rechargeable motor that can be attached to it. It doesn’t have the flight- deck controls that so many Lelo products have, for obvious reasons: you basically switch it on and go. The buzzy bit itself is smooth and rounded, and big enough that you don’t have to spend all your time wriggling around making sure that it comes into contact with your clit, and the buzz is enough to build up a nice…um…buzz, without being too much at first contact. My experience of vibrating cock rings is not vast, but I don’t think I have to experiment further: this one works on me, and on him.

Like all Lelo products, it is beautifully packaged and the practicalities as well as the aesthetics have been thought through. Inside the customary box is a hard little plastic carrying case, and the ring can be recharged within the case. Bo is phthalate-free, and an hour’s charge lasts for 4 hours of use

I don’t seriously have a great deal else to say about it. I’ve found with all the Lelo products I’ve tried that they do exactly what they say on the box: they are beautiful, quiet, and outstandingly pleasurable.

Originally posted here

I Love Lelo (the Ella, this time)

The great thing about living in a small town is that if you aren’t in when parcels are delivered, the postman/DHL man just leaves them with someone else: your parents, for example, or the vet. This is nice, because it means that you don’t have to wait until the weekend to pick up your parcels, but it can be a bit awkward pretending to your mother you have no idea why you’d be sent a “handheld massager”. I have to confess to a bit of heart-sinking when the vet rang my buzzer on Friday evening to tell me he had a parcel for me: I love and revere him, and am endlessly grateful for all he has done for generations of my pets, but I don’t particularly need him to know about my choices regarding my own entertainment. So full marks to Vibrator.com – when they say their packaging is discreet, they mean it. I wasn’t sure it was even the right parcel until I had got it up upstairs and withdrawn the now familiar black box.

Is it irredeemably shallow of me to feel more turned on by sex toys that come in beautiful packaging rather than impenetrable plastic casing? Quite possibly, but I prefer to think of it in terms of the girl can drop out of art college, but you can’t take away years of training in aesthetics, and when it comes to form versus function, anything that doesn’t tick both boxes doesn’t get my vote. I didn’t own a sex toy until about a year and a half ago, but it didn’t take me any time at all to develop a penchant for the high-end ones.

All of which is a long way of saying that I really love my new Lelo Ella, which I have been lusting after since I first saw it. It is a sleek and tactile double ended silicone dildo: one end straight and pointy and one with a blunt, slanted end. It’s not very big – this is not a toy to try if you have a gaping hole to fill – but it’s big enough to feel, and smooth and narrow enough to insert easily, and both ends found my sensitive bits with unerring accuracy. It doesn’t vibrate or do anything fancy, but it works beautifully with my Lily when I fancy a bit of buzz, which is by no means all the time. I like the buzziness of vibrators, but I’m wary of them too, and am instinctively drawn more to dildos. If I’m using one on my own then I know what I’m doing, and if it’s being used on me in conjunction with something else then it’s perfect when I want something inside me but don’t need the distraction of having to wriggle around making sure the buzz is hitting the right spot.

Like all things Lelo, the Ella comes with a year’s warranty and a little satin carrying pouch, and like all things Lelo that I have tried out, it gives great orgasm – and it’s just a gorgeous object (mine is black, to match my Lily). I preferred the pointy end (I like a bit of thrust with my penetration) rather than the one intended for the g-spot, though I had fun experimenting with both, and look forward to trying it out with the help of a tongue.

Elise (I’m so worth it)

I came late to sex toys, but that doesn’t stop me being demanding about them. They have to look good, and they have to work better than good, and, quite frankly, I prefer it if they don’t look like luridly coloured amputated body parts. So I was altogether thrilled when the people at LELO sent me the beautifully designed object of my choice. Here is where I admit to being irredeemably shallow: it was a toss-up between various gorgeous things, but I liked the sleek look and colour of Elise best. What can I say? Aesthetically pleasing ergonomics make me wet, which saves on lubricant.

I’m not one of those people who come at the buzz of a vibrator, or anything else much, apart from oral sex, which is probably one of the reasons I’ve been reluctant to try vibrators in the past – nothing really works for me as well as a tongue and lavish compliments. However, Lily, my sexy little black tadpole, changed my mind in that respect, and I’ve been anxious to get my hands (etc) on something in less danger of drowning ever since.

If you like your sex toys – or hand-held massagers – to look like very pretty purple bananas (which I really, really do), then the Elise is perfect: it is beautifully designed for form and function. It gets me where I want to be (and more) whether used externally or internally, and I’m besotted with its smooth curves, and tactile feel. The controls are more sophisticated than on the Lily (where they are several degrees of buzz, and off ), but I astonished and impressed myself by managing to memorise them, and only came a cropper once when I clamped down on the “plus” button as I came, and nearly buzzed my clit off. The really exciting thing is that there are five different modes, three vibrating and two pulsing. I’d love to be able to say which I liked best, but I don’t feel I have quite finished experimenting yet, and am also prone to trying to run through them all at once, at which point I lose track and collapse in a quivering heap.

Apart from the classy look and feel, and the simple truth that it works so well, I love the fact that the controls are in the base – no annoying wires or batteries or twiddly bits – and both easy to reach and regulate. It is also quiet, with a sophisticated purr, rather than a “Hello world! I’m either drying my hair or getting off, see if you can guess which!” industrial roar. It comes in a sleek black box, with its own charger, and locks for traveling (good to know – the Lily does too, but I didn’t find that out until I’d spent a plane journey with it buzzing happily away) which is convenient as I’m planning to take it with me everywhere I go.

It is expensive, as beautiful luxuries often are, but God, is it worth it.

Originally posted here

Lily

This is Lily. I don’t really approve of giving your sex toys names, but it is inevitable, somehow, and I only have five, so it’s not as though I’m opening a huge box of them every time and going through a rollcall of names every time I get twitchy.

I’m a minimalist when it comes to sex toys, which means that until recently I didn’t actually have any. I was pretty adept at making the most of what I had at hand, although my methods weren’t always foolproof.

Lily lives inside my handbag, and she was a present. Despite the fact that buzzy things in general don’t do the same things for me that a nice lump of cold steel can do, I lusted after Lily. I just had a feeling that she might be all the buzz I needed.

And so it was. When it was (literally) dropped into my lap, the look and feel were enough to get me turned on. I admit it, I am a total sucker for packaging and good design. All those advertising tricks work like a charm on me – who cares if it cleans better/makes my hair shinier/actually works at all? If it comes in a pleasing package, costs around the same as the competition and more or less does what it says on the packet, then I’ll go for it. Bad packaging irritates the hell out of me, actually – there just isn’t any excuse for it. Good design doesn’t have to cost more than bad, and if you have a decent product, why undersell yourself visually? (This particularly goes for anything claiming to save the planet – they seem to be too self-righteous to believe you can care about your carbon footprint AND want things to look pretty. When global warming melts us all, and there are people wringing their hands saying: “But all this could have been avoided if people had just used our environmentally friendly washing-up liquid!” then I shall point out bitterly that they should have packaged it more attractively).

Oops, sorry – this was supposed to be about sex toys, wasn’t it? I don’t need my sex toys to look like something else (cute animals, for instance), but I don’t need them to look like genitalia, either. Actually, that’s another thing I don’t really understand – is fucking myself with a silicone disembodied cock really supposed to make me feel as though I am fucking myself with a cock? I prefer them with bodies to tell you the truth. It’s not quite the same, when you’re lying there in a post orgasmic haze, clutching something that looks like an amputated cock, and lying there with someone holding you and saying nice things to you. If I can’t have the nice things said to me, I’d rather be holding something good-looking. This is one reason that no matter what people say about the wonders of the Hitachi wand, I’m not remotely tempted to find out if they are right until there’s a serious design rethink – it’s just hideous. Although I’ll grant that what turns one person on won’t appeal to another: I showed my funwand, which I think is the most gorgeous thing evah, to a friend, and she had flashbacks to a forceps birth, and begged me to take it away. But she did fall in love with Lily.

One of best things about Lily, apart from the size, and feel, is that it’s so damn ergonomic. It can even be tucked into a pair of tight pants unobtrusively, curving pleasingly and invisibly round your lady bits, humming discreetly. A bit too ergonomically-pleasing sometimes: I keep having to stop myself from shoving it right inside me for fear of drowning it – and then I wouldn’t be able to get to the controls, either, (and this is another plus – they’re in the right place, easy to use, and not attached to stupid trailing wires. I may be a relative novice when it comes to sex toys, but that doesn’t stop me being demanding).

I don’t quite know what else to say. It’s gorgeous. It makes me wet. It makes me come. What else could I possibly want?

Originally posted here.

What Bunnies Do

A few weeks ago, I got a Jack Rabbit in the post, from these people, (purveyors of sex toys including the feeldoe, not to mention Sex Swings) – miraculously quickly considering the distance it had to travel.

Fucking myself with my pretty little pink two-tone, vibrating pearl, bunny-faced and eared Jack Rabbit Vibrator, I was listening to Nick Cave, and talking to a man who carries his own story. Sex as redemption, threat, and comfort, and mindless pleasure. I prefer to take my sexual pleasure mixed with a touch of the surreal.

It says something very strange about one’s sexuality that one sees the Jack Rabbit and thinks: 1) Wow – that’s so cute, and 2) I think I’d like that inside me. Seriously, as a rule I tend not to consider sexual accoutrements (organic or not) as cute, though it’s true I do often have a wish to insert them somewhere inside me. And this is seriously cute. Too many years as the mother of a daughter have caused me to have a bit of a pink fetish – I fought it for years, but it’s now inbuilt: if it’s pink, it probably has a place in my home.

It’s a very nice toy. It feels good, and the pearls are especially fun. I feel a bit of a fraud reviewing it, though: I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m going to have something vibrating inside me, I’d rather it was attached to something breathing, as well. Experiments have shown that battery operated objects alone cannot get me off, and this was no exception. The bunny ears are adorable, but somehow seemed to miss my clit completely, and that just got annoying after a while. The other drawback was the battery pack: it’s unaesthetic, and gets in the way (when it doesn’t get lost), and multi-tasking whilst in pursuit of an orgasm is beyond me. However, I do know other people who swear by theirs, so I’m probably, and not for the first time, an anomaly. I do feel rather fond of it, though, and I like the size. And the cuteness. And the pinkness. God, I really wonder about myself, sometimes.

But, so far, nothing comes close to approaching my one true love.

Steely Dan

When he holds it against me, it’s icy cold. But I’m so hot, and slick, he can slide it inside me with no resistance, and wriggling just brings me closer to his warm mouth. I can feel it very distinctly inside me, this cold, metal, thing, and outside me, this warm, wet tongue. Too cold, I think, but a flick of his wrist and the rounded head hits home like a magnet, and then a flick of a warm tongue and I’m coming, before I know what’s hit me.

An “oh!” of surprise when my ass hit the bed again, a quick intake of breath and then the metal is turned and the mouth closes over my clit again, and this time there’s no respite.

My head feels as though it’s full of steam, great billowing clouds of it, like a Chinese Laundry in an old movie, except that someone forgot to shut it off, and there’s no end to it.

My body is flexed, and held in place, and the onslaught is relentless. I don’t have time to think what I can or can’t take (though I hear myself wail “No!” hopelessly) because I’m trying to keep my body inside my skin.

I want that mouth, and that hunk of metal, driven up inside me as far as they’ll go. I drive myself hard against them, and think that I’ll never get enough, not until I break.

I do break, I think. Everything in me has been wrung out, swallowed down, poured and dissolved. I lie and shake as he pulls it out, and feel as though hot lava flows out between my thighs.

“Well, it works”, he says.

“Yeah”, I say, but about half an hour later, when I can speak again.

Later, while we’re fucking, he rolls me over onto my side to face him so he can fuck my ass with the other end, easing the smooth metal balls in with each thrust of his cock. And he gets it in the ass too, while I suck him.

Later still, it lies on the bed beside me, in all its heavy, sensuous, silver beauty, as he opens my legs and buries his face in my pussy. I don’t know if he’s proving to me or himself that he can do it without any help from aesthetically pleasing lumps of metal, but I’m too busy coming to care.

Originally published here