Image from www.sexyland.com.au

One night ArmyDude asked me to bring the strap-on and penetrate him.

I haven’t indulged in a lot of strap-on play and there will never, ever be a photo taken of me donning the triangular vinyl harness with its crazily-jolting fake pink penis jutting from my abdomen. It looks ridiculous. Thankfully, I have a sense of the ridiculous and my partners have been patient enough to allow me a few Tom Cruise in Risky Business dance sequence moments before getting down to the serious business of sex.

I fret about lack of control over the harness and dildo with even the gentlest use; I can’t feel anything except the dildo’s base pressing into my pelvis. The last thing I want to do is jab when I intend to glide –I imagine being ripped a new arsehole would turn someone off fake dick-wielding women for a long time.

I like to experiment though – and I’m most amiable after oral sex — so I strapped in and lubed the narrower of its two dildos, guiding the first couple of inches into his anus with my easier-to-control hand.

He was resistingly tight, tight tight, a little tight, whoa, he was open and relaxed and with his own hand was pushing the remaining length in. I leaned into him, grabbed one of his shoulders as ballast and did the best job I could of fucking him with the lurid pink implement.

Afterwards he asked how much he had taken. Um, all of it young man, and you pushed it in there all by yourself. He didn’t believe me until he saw the sheen of lubricant running the dildo’s length.

Jekyll is more gung-ho and has asked to be fucked with the larger of the dildos. It’s a handy length and pleasingly broad and he enjoys lying on his back, propped with pillows, watching the dildo slide in his lubed arse (and, perhaps, enjoying seeing me doing the thrusting work).

I’m not sure if I’d recommend this brand of strap-on. If you’re new to a hobby, let’s say golf, you have the choice of convincing yourself you need the biggest and best clubs and accessories before taking to the front nine, or of making more modest purchases and adding to your equipment as you improve and find what works for you. Strap-ons are the same. If you’ve indulged in this type of activity before, head further upmarket for a more stable harness so the fucker can fuck the fuckee with more intensity and glee than concentration. If you’re new and curious, consider something more upmarket and stable anyway so your first experiences are as positive as they can be because, even if you use the harness only occasionally, the dildos are useful for solo pleasure and too many tools are never enough in twosome, threesome and (lucky you) moresome games.

If you’re a bi female or lesbian, give me a call as I’d like to practice on a woman.

Edited post from thedirtyblonde.